Be 100-percent present

By Daneal Charney

Now I know you consider yourself a great multi-tasker but you can’t be doing something while listening. You’re either in or out. If you are out (thinking of what is next, a good story, etc.), chances are the other person knows that and assumes you don’t respect them. That’s bad during a career. So next time your mind wanders, be honest. Sorry, my mind wandered for a moment and I really want to hear that. Can you repeat your last point, please?

Other ideas to keep you focused are using a note pad, mirroring back what you heard and turning off all distractions. If none of this is working, stop the conversation now (or even better, don’t start it) and re-schedule. 

One of the reasons I don’t listen is because I am so obsessed with what I have to do next. Ben and Rosamund Zander’s Rule #6 puts this into perspective. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Face it, most things we are thinking about can wait. No daydreaming. No planning. Just live in the moment, at least until you finish your conversation.

Ask yourself:

Share a time you got busted for not listening.

What tricks can you use when your mind wanders?

Leave Your Ego at the Door

To build a reputation as a go-getter at your job, you need to satisfy other people’s needs and goals as well as your own. You can do this by giving others the spotlight. This means listening up! Did you hear that? This requires a pause, silence, and zoning in on the other person’s agenda.

I often meet ambitious 20-somethings who spend all their time with me talking and no time listening. You may possess great knowledge but this is only useful when you understand how to apply it. Be a sponge and soak up as much as you can about how you can help the person standing across from you.

In a work context, listen with your eyes and ears to understand how things are actually done. Who are the go-to people for what? Who are key people to know and mentor you in your career? You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable to the thoughts, opinions, and ideas of other people. Don’t try to finish their sentences to look smart. Don’t try to improve upon their thoughts. Instead, listen with a positive frame of mind.

Bottom line: conversations are a great opportunity to better understand the other person, not to push your agenda. When you make it about them, then it can become about you.

Ask yourself:

Why is it just so hard to zip it and listen?

Have you ever been busted for not listening – what happened?

Tell us about a great conversation.

Over-Communicate to Get Noticed

Additionally, never assume that anyone knows what you need or how you are doing. Especially when it comes to your career.  Whether you are working for someone directly or with a team, keep them informed on a weekly basis. Here is an adapted format that I use to keep others informed. This format highlights what you have achieved, areas you need help on, and your future short-term priorities. You can also use this for meeting check-ins.

Highs (accomplishments, results)

Lows (derailers, poor results)

Issues (challenges with which you need assistance)

Plans (next week’s top priorities)

The Power of One

Asking for feedback regularly is one of the best insurance policies you can have at work and in life. It can help you determine if you are on the right track and ultimately make different decisions.

Asking what you can do to improve in your career or one thing that you rock at can help you zone in on areas of opportunity.

Even if you hear something you were not expecting, stay open and ask follow up questions. It may be unfair but perceptions count for a lot, so invest time developing areas that are critical to your success and in people who are your lifelines. And always, always, thank people for feedback. Feedback is a gift, a huge growth opportunity.

For great ideas on how to keep feedback future-oriented and constructive, Google the FeedForward tool developed by Marshall Goldsmith.

Ask yourself:

What is your best tip on giving or receiving feedback?

What stops you from asking for feedback?

Who has given you the most life-changing feedback?

Be honest, do you really know what others think?

What is your typical reaction to feedback?

Use Mantra Cards

A mantra card is a business-card-sized piece of paper that contains a thought, idea or action. Rather than a direct goal, it is something you’d like to generally be thinking or specifically doing. For example, you might have one called “Keep the Budget” or “Do 100 Pushups”. There is no maximum or minimum, but you want to be able to quickly flip through these cards 10-15 times daily, so aim to have fewer than 10. As you find yourself daydreaming, walking to get a coffee or commuting, you can shuffle through these cards throughout your career. They will constantly queue your mind to refocus on the things that are most important.

Lastly, we recommend using moo.com to create personalized cards. You can have different colours, fonts, and layouts for as low as $20.

Ask yourself:

Share your Mantra cards ideas with friends. What are you committing to?

Who can support you or check in with you?

What other cool ways do you have to keep yourself focused?