Find the perfect balance between keeping those well-needed boundaries and having a stress-free roommate! 

Post high school dorm rooms are one of the best places to create long-term relationships. But it’s also a place where you’re still finding yourself. It’s important to remember that the people around you are doing the same, so there’s always a possibility that relationships can get a bit messy. Sometimes universities and colleges will pair you with your future best friend. Unfortunately, for those who are not so lucky, here are tips to keep things kosher between you and your roommate(s):

Be Considerate

You live in a PUBLIC space now. At least think of it that way. If you have your own bedroom then that is where you can do whatever you like (as long as you’re not too loud) but keep the common space clean and respectful. Try to be understanding of your roommates, even if you think they’ve lost their minds. When they’re lucid, they’ll remember the respect and return it (fingers crossed!).

You Don’t Need To Be Best Friends

Some people jump into new student relationships overeagerly. Your positivity is good! But there’s something to be said about staying cool. You don’t need to be best friends with your roommates—you just need to make sure that your living situation will be helpful to your studies rather than harmful! So have fun but keep in mind that there are tons of “friend-fishies” in the sea (even if you’re living off-campus). 

Brush Things Off

Student living isn’t an easy transition. Your grades might not meet your expectations. You might get stuck in a situation where you’re the brunt of misplaced anger or disappointment or just straight up frustration. It’s hard to take a step back but, usually, the best course of action is to gracefully retreat. However, this doesn’t mean that you should be anyone’s punching bag. Think of it as a philosophy that you should always be the calmest person in the room. Count to ten and walk away. Approach your roommate later and get to the bottom of the outburst when your heads are cool.

Know Your Limits

My first year of university, I was placed in a dorm room with the sweetest small-town girl on the floor. She was the type of person that would wave you over in the caf to join her (and inevitably some of her new friends), would surprise you with your fav snacks, and would study with you all-night for an exam you were not prepared for. BUT she was a bit promiscuous for a one-dorm room situation. I tried to give her and her partner space by leaving the room before bed. That didn’t work. I tried to thwart them by rolling around noisily in my bed so they knew I was awake. I tried headphones. After a frank conversation, we sorted out strategies so she could let me know when she needed some of that special “alone” time.

In the end, if there’s a problem, address the issue. Rather than beat around the bush, just talk to your roommate. They have hard lines as well! 

There’s Always The Last Report

Sometimes relationships don’t work out. Ask yourself whether you’ve done your best to be considerate of your roommates; not force the relationship; to keep a level head and draw limits in a respectful way. What if you’ve done ALL of the above and you’re still not getting the same treatment back? It’s time to bail. Don’t be quick to burn the bridge, but ask a residence supervisor to switch things around or make arrangements to live with other people the next year. You deserve better!